


Evening

by live_die_be



Series: Evening [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:59:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/live_die_be/pseuds/live_die_be
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If this was what you had existed for, was it really worth it? Roxas' last thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evening

**Author's Note:**

> Angsty drabble with Sora and Roxas. Roxas' last moments, inspired by the poem by Rilke of the same name. Crossposted to ff.net and LJ.

This is what you lived for.

At least, if your existance can really be catagorized as _life._ You breathe, you can think, you've thought perhaps you'd known love but you didn't really _live_ , did you? There was a key element missing from your existance.

You lacked a heart.

And without a heart, a soul, a conscience to help you separate good from bad, right from wrong, black from white, and without it, what is there really to separate man from beast? From a conscience driven creature, and a creature driven purely by their more primal instincts.

You weren't supposed to exist.

And if _this_ is what you lived for, what you did exist for, is it truely enough? To give up yourself for the better purpose? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of few and all that, which you'd never really believed in. This had been the whole purpose of the Organization, to get back their hearts, and become _whole_ again.

Your heart resides in this comatose boy, who looks so much like you, yet is not _you_ , because you could never be as innocent, as untouched by the more unsavory aspects of society. Never as happy, or whole.

This is it for you.

The final choice, the one you get to make for yourself, the choice between doing what's right, and merging with the boy, becoming one, and the choice that's wrong, leaving now, before it's too late, to go find Axel, and tell him all the things you were never brave enough to when you had the chance.

You've made your choice already.

You step forward and in an ethereal cloud of blue light, you vanish, no longer a seperate entity, now you're a part of him. Of Sora. The keyblade master who is purer and kinder than you ever had been. Than you ever will be.

And so you watch, from the spot behind his consciousness you've hollowed out for yourself, you watch as his life goes on, and you sit there, in a sense, forgotten, alone, unknown and feeling even less whole than you had when you were really a nobody.

If this was what you had existed for, was it worth it? Worth loosing all of yourself, trapping yourself in his mind, so unlike your own, so much light that it hurt you, a creature of darkness.

You've made your choice.

This is what you lived for, what you existed for.

So, was it worth it?

_No._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Evening**

Slowly the evening takes on the clothes  
held for it by a ridge of ancient trees  
You watch and the land divides for you  
one reaching heavenward, one sinking down

And leave you, not quite belonging to either  
Not quite so dark as the house cloaked in silence  
Not quite so surely pledged to the eternal  
as that which becomes star each night and climbs

And leave you (inexpressibly to untangle)  
Your life, immense and ripening and fearful  
So that, now closed in, now reaching everywhere  
It grows equally stone in you, and star


End file.
